oooh.
i don't feel so well...
my itchy mouth.
i drank the milo which was prepared by my mum few days ago...
she put it in the fridge and i went to drink it, thinking it will still be fine.
then, things happen....
i vomited out everything when i went to bathe.
perfect timing, i should say.
at least i don't have to waste a plastic bag with my vomitus. :(
i really feel sick before vomitting.
should i be happy that my digestive system is working fast? XD
5 minutes after drinking and all came out. >.<
but of course, i feel much better after that..
slap my itchy mouth. +_+

plus, i don't think i can go to either siti or mdm timah's house for hari raya.
i can only rest at home so i wouldn't take mc on thursday.
disrupting my rest day if i have to replace thursday with saturday.
ahhh. i must go rest now... tata.

rest in peace

my patient passed away today at 1.20pm.
though her family members were mentally prepared,
they couldn't hold back their tears.
but actually it's a relief for her to go.
i helped to clean her up and dress her in her own clothes.
normally she will shout 'sakit' (which is pain in malay) when we try to clean or turn her.
but now...
when we cleaned her for the last time, she has no reaction..
she's only 55 years old.
not that old actually.

it took 10 minutes to confirm her death.
when we went in through the curtains around her bed,
the ECG still shows signs of life in her.
but when the doctor came in to see,
it's finally confirmed as the ECG went flat for 5 minutes.
then they told us to take out all the tubes in her and prepare to scrub her, literally.

but at least i overcame my emotion and i appeared strong enough to clean her.
i didn't shed a tear but i feel that my heart's crying.
i feel sad for her.
but never mind, people will eventually die..only determined by God.

hmmm. ya. i think that should be all for this post.
post again next time. :)

Singapore Grand Prix

today's the final day of this F1..
actually there's nothing much about it.
is it worth spending the money watching a racing car zip by for only a second?
no, for me.
i'd rather watch it on tv. the camera will follow the car all the way...
what's the point of crowding around the circuit for something you cannot really see?
the only experience you get there is the noise you will hear when the car comes close.
you will be deaf by then.
it was so loud that i can even hear it from chinatown point where i was at that time.
though i wonder what's so great about this like world's 1st night race or what,
1 thing for sure is that this will make Singapore a country that every single person will recognise and not a red little dot on the map anymore.
it's quite cool.
i even heard from my mum that the Taiwanese are a little jealous of us because one said that they can also host this race in the night....
but anyway, why be jealous of us?
it's not that they will not have the chance...
it's just that we host it 1st...

yup. morning shift again tomorrow.
need to sleep now...post another day. :)

payday! payday! payday!

okay, i'm being nonsensical.
tomorrow's payday, finally.
i can't wait for my account to grow.......
i can't wait to bring my mum to Hong Kong........
maybe i'm still dreaming.
tomorrow's only the 1st pay since the bond signing session.
there's still a long way to go.. :(
never mind.

attachment is getting better by the day...
it's not as boring as it used to be.
the nurses are really treating you as a staff there. :)
all my patients in my cubicle changed except for 2..
but luckily these new patients are not that bad.
they will actually tell you what's the problem with them...
build some rapport between us when we are free.
good idea, huh?
at least when you get scoldings or whatsoever, they will actually help you or something.
just to complain a little, MY LEGS ARE ACHING LIKE MAD!!!
i keep having spasms on my calf muscles.
my sole is so numb that i can't even feel anything.

yup..

oh yeah, i don't think i will go for the face treatment where i've put the $53.50 deposit...

it's wasting my time.

i'd rather use it to pamper myself with some foot therapy.

forfeit this deposit is better if i go there to pay my balance amount of money and the manager will continue to 'force' you to purchase their package.

spare me that, please.

i think i will keep my itchy fingers out of the handphone so i won't sign up for another 'free' treatment thing...

yes, don't ever trust that.

anyway, my craving for sleep is calling.

post another day.

tata... zZzZzZzZ...........

tears just can't stay in my eyes.

i cried today.
i feel that i'm so useless.
i cannot control my emotions..
this female patient died and we wanted to see how the last office (which we call post-mortem care) is done.
we went to the curtain-covered bed to observe the procedure but her daughter came in to ask if she can see as well.
the moment we said yes, she started screaming for her mother in tamil.
probably she said come back or why she left her in this world alone and all that....
she was like," Ma!Ma!......"
it was very sad.

then i thought about my grandmother who also died in NUH but in the renal unit.
my mum was also saying the same thing and she was also screaming and all.
because it was too sudden for her to die.
minutes ago, my grandma was thinking of the food she wants to eat after that, the next moment she started gasping for breath.
but the problem lies is that why the staff doesn't allow my mum to see my grandma for the last face.

anyway, i couldn't take it and i just broke down.
the teacher-in-charge of the year 3s came to console me to say that i should be emotionally-stable so i can can carry out the last office professionally.
if i cried like the way the family members cried, they will be feeling worse than that.
then i was left alone in the room, which i found to hide me from letting others know i cried, to think over what the teacher had said to me.

it's only the 1st year and i have yet to be exposed to all types of situations and i'm already like that.

perhaps i wasn't supposed to be a nurse.
nursing is not my forte.
maybe i should change my career.

nope.
i shouldn't thinking about this.
i should persevere.
if all nurses were to think like me, i think singapore will be left with no nurses to take care of the patients.
i should have known earlier that i will meet this kind of situation the day i put nursing as my choice of study.
yeah.
i must continue in this line so i can help more people.
i cannot think that i'm useless just because i cried because of this.
think about this.
aren't nurses humans as well?
humans do have emotions.
it's just that whether you can control it well or not.
i'm only bad in controlling my emotions but that doesn't mean that i'm not suitable for this job, right?
hope this will help me to persevere in this career. assure me. :l

it's saturday.
finally a REST DAY.
my feet are aching like mad.
some blisters even appeared when i tried to scratch my feet. :(

but there's something i should be happy about..
i've noticed that my blood pressure taking skills are getting better!! :D
apparently there's a patient whose pulse is difficult to take so both the pulse and blood pressure taking will be affected.
she asked why am i so slow in taking because i keep pressing her wrist for her radial pulse but i can't find her pulse.
then she indirectly said that i'm just a student nurse of course i will be slow in everythng.
actually it's quite demoralising.....
but anyway, i managed to keep her happy with my presence and she will even talk to me...
so it's improving. :)
but unfortunately, she is a MRSA patient so i can't touch her with my bare hands.
quite sad huh?
obviously she knows about it and she never said anything but i feel sad for her.
poor thing.
*sighs*
anyway back to the topic, now i can feel for her pulse so i'm happy, seriously.
by the way, our parameter taking timing used to be 1hr 30mins but now i used only 10mins and i'm done!
we even need the ENs to remind us the time to record the parameters but we don't need them now.
both jia xuan and i are getting the hang of it..
we even felt like carrying on though we are tired.
but all our lethargy will be erased once we hear the staff nurses saying thank you to you..
won't you?
a good motivaton as well.
let's hope this will carry on....

yup. anyway i should sleep early tonight because i really can't stand it.
wish me sweet dreams, yeah?
bye. :)

attachment was fine.
was attached to nephrology so this ward is always full.
some patients in my cubicle were really cute.
but those i talked to when i was bored during my free time were all discharged.
SUPER sad!!! :(
now still finding for new friends...... :x

apparently one patient cried today.
because she was complaining of the itch at her wound site, which is the access point for her dialysis up at her right clavicle.
she is allergic to micropore, primapore, opsite, etc. basically she is allergic to most of the adhesive tapes we have in the hospital.
what to do?
she can only suffer rashes around the area.
that's what the doctor said.
we were like changing her dressing, then she said she can't stand having the primapore on her site anymore..
but of course, to prevent any infection, we can only tell her that it's better if she suffer from rashes than infection.

she was give a lot of antibiotics for stopping the itch but none actually helped her.

then she cried.
all we, student nurses, can do is to hold her hand and try to console her....
it's quite sad actually.

i feel that sometimes we are restricted to a lot of things in the ward. but luckily we can still comfort the patients.
anyway, tomorrow's the 3rd day, i just hope that it will all go well.
yup and bye. =)

results... :(

shit, lousy results.
AAP1- C+ (shucks!)
CNP- B
CITS- A
FON1- B+
MIC- C
NSL1.1- A
PAS1- a freaking D+!!!!!

I HATE MY RESULTS!!!!
must work harder next time.
stupid me.

a guy fainted or whatsoever at a coffee shop near my house.
obviously, alot of people gathered around to see what's happening.
some kind soul even called the ambulance which came 5 minutes later.
yes, it's 5 minutes. fast, eh? surprisingly.
anyway this guy refused to cooperate with those paramedics to be pushed into the ambulance and he struggled but the belt at his waist held him well.
an uncle threatened to punch him if he still refused.
it took 3 men to stabilize and to push him into the ambulance.
10 minutes later, the ambulance stays put.
why? probably the guy is still struggling.
maybe they should inject tranquilizer into him so he could 'rest' until they reached the hospital.
the police was also alarmed.
20 minutes later, the ambulance's finally gone with the help from he police.
foolish guy.
so ends the commotion and others started to go away.......
typicahl singaporeans.
at least i'm not considered as one because i didn't go to take a look.
i just happened to be there eating my breakfast with my parents.
but as a nurse-to-be, i feel guilty not having to help the guy.
by the way, through this incident i realized that there's still some compassion amongst us and not only the kiasu-kiasi society we have always. don't you think so?


anyway i went to tiong bahru plaza to have my face treatment at new york skin solutions.
i saw this advertisement on tv and though it to be quite interesting so decided to sign up for it.
it's a free trial worth $100 but only for new customers.
it took at least 2 hours for this treatment i have. my mum has it as well because they said they have an extra voucher so my mum went for it.
it's my first time in one of their cubicles and we were separated from each other.
they told us to strip and to wear their 'tube-top' dress they hung it inside.
it's cold in there.
no, it's freezing.
after our treatment, we went to a room for the 'evaluation' of it.
the treatment feels so good. *nods head*
it's the branch manager who talked to us.
but i don't like it because she's like 'forcing' us to purchase their package.
it's $500 for 10 treatments. but we told her that we don't have so much money so we said no.
then she went on telling us to purchase another package which costs $300 for 5 treatments.
my mum actually doesn't want it because the money she has only limited amount of money for the whole of this month.
but in the end, we paid a deposit of $53.50 and i will pay the balance $267.50 on the 27th.
but though it's quite expensive for us, i think it's worth it.
but when my mum told my dad about this, he said i'm still a gin-na* (kid in hokkien) and my face is not matured.
darn him.
i'm 17. not 17 months old.
so now i know, he didn't give me pocket money all along because he thought i'm still a kid and i don't need money for myself.
blah-blah-bla....
i rather use my own money to pay the balance.
spare my ears, idiot.
my mum said he's always like that.
he rather spent money on cigarettes and not on us and even said that he's not a dollars printing machine.
then stop smoking, for goodness sake!
tired of saying this again and again, he just won't listen.
it's his life, not mine.

anyway, today's mid-autumn festival so hope everyone has a nice and wonderful day! =)
and i must go sleep now so i will have energy for tomorrow. =(
finally.




ps. hope this post is not too long. XD

today's september 11.
that incident has already passed for 8 years.
time flies like a rocket.
the impression of this incident is quite vague to me,
i was only 11 years old at that time.
i only knew that this incident led lots of people to lose their loved ones
causing them to grieve for 8 years.
sometimes i realy wonder if people will really grieve for their loved ones...

ah, never mind.
i'm crapping.
oh yeah, my attachment is coming.
it's next week, 15th.
%@#*!
exam results are also here.
i don't want 15th to come so quickly...
i dread exam results because i won't do so well. ~.~
haiz. no point dreading it because it will still come.
T_T

anyway, i went to the Coca-Cola Pte Ltd to collect my prize.
this is the football table i won in the Big Gulp promotion.




they call this 'mini'.
LOL.
IT'S NOT MINI! it's as big as the table in my living room.
we were actually discussing the location to put this table as you know HDB flats are small so there's not much space for this "mini" table. -.-

this website is so addictive!
put your pictures and choose yuor favourite magazine cover to match with it...
so cool!! go find out at www.magmypic.com...
just put any piccture you think you can upload. :)
here are some examples for you to see.. enjoy!!
(it does look like real magazines!)

(an immediate reply to "administrator"): i didn't know i cannot work outside of SGH until today. debbie told us when i went for the bond signing session today in the recruitment office...
but anyway, i wouldn't mind if i didn't have the chance to work part-time...
i still get the money monthly... ^.^

addicted to facebook recently but i'm not used to the new layout...
confusing.
they mixed the news feed and wall posts together and it looked messy... =(

anyway tomorrow i will need to go to bukit merah to sign the bond at 9am.
then i will officially get the monthly allowance. I CAN'T WAIT! heehee. ^.^
i will have money to buy what i wanted all along.
time to fulfil what's in my wishlist. =)
(maybe not the "make me grow taller", "get good grades for all my modules" and "finding mr right")
money can't buy those. >.<
didn't know that http://www.tudou.com/ could be so good. i finish watching 25 episodes of (on the first beat) in 1 day (excluding those i watched in cable tv) but with my mum nagging at me.... of course, i'm wasting my time like what she said. =(

just reorganized the links for easier reference.
hope this is better for your eyes. LOL
apparently saw xiaoling's blog being so organized made me feel embarrassed about my untidiness in my blog.. >.<

anyway, my father bought me a Converse tote bag which costs $69.90 at first but i was on discount so it costs only $39.90 after that. (maybe i can exchange this for a Myuk bag i wanted all along).
backpacks, sling bags, messenger bags don't seemed to suit me anymore.
but i feel quite guilty asking him to buy another bag for me...
he asked me the reason why i needed another bag but i said nothing...
i knew he wasn't so happy to buy another one for me because my wardrobe is full of bags which served their purpose for only a few days and i just threw them aside..
but nevertheless he bought it for me. ^.^

wake me up from my girly thinking!!!!
bags, bags, bags.
just any other girls, my mind is all about bags as well as shoes and clothes.
i just can't stop looking at those items which girls wanted the most.
i can't go on like that or else i will have SSS - severe shopaholic syndrome.
hahas. just kidding. LOL.

can't wait for wednesday to come........
going out with xiaoling! i hope it's confirmed.. (xiaoling! reassure me!) >.<
haven't seen her like ages...
OOPS! erms. it's only last december... :)
by the way, she's the only ex-rafflesian i ever kept in touch with.
quite disappointed... :(
but never mind, it's all in the past.